"Bucket", by Jess.

Bucket is a song often unknown by Carly Rae Jepsen. I think she has a really cute voice. This song doesn't really speak about something I'm talking about in this entry. Just that I do have a bucket full of things. And there is a hole in it, just like in the song. But what go out from my bucket is thoughts  and order. I don't have a particular thing I want to talk about. Just tons of things that are on my mind now. And I have to let go some of those things. So here are they... (Click on the black frame to play Bucket!)

First of all, those days I learnt that school wasn't just about being a good student, having good grades, got your graduation with a mention. It's about luck, and possibilities. So, if I can give you an advice, not from me, but from French Academies that take care of schools : don't mess up with your first year after your graduation. If you take something, just keep in mind that if you wanna change your way (which is absolutly normal), it will be a big mess and you will probably stay thinking that while your family and teachers were seeing something brilliant to you, you'll end up with a worse job than the biggest looser of your town!
Don't cry... I already did and it didn't change. Just have to say something, even if I love my country, because well... it's mine : FUCK FRENCH SCHOLARSHIP!!!! Said! :)

With my mom, earlier, we were watching this stupid programm that make all our folks think that we all consume drugs, have sex at 12 and say that we are going to sleep to a friend's while in fact you are drunk, dancing sexy in a club. So, my mom and I were watching this, and it was about youngs and alcohol. YAY! Happily, I never came back home drunk, not completly at least... Anyway!
I love partying, I love to enjoy life and do stupid things that I may regret, but that I don't wanna regret in the way that I never did them. And even I was totally shocked to see 15 or 16 year old girls in hospital, threwing up everything they drunk in their hair and their clothes. I was more shocked than disgusted. And even if I like to enjoy life and be stupid I know that I can do all without drinking!
I won't lie saying that I never touched alcohol in my life. But sincerely you can have a really better time being clean than being drunk. Is it really fun to threw up on your friends while talking... Or trying to talk. Yes, try to talk with 5 cups of mixed alcohol. You talk, yes, but you say things before your brain can anylise them. So I think that it depends on your definition of "fun", but I don't think alcohol should be a synonym.

SORRY ABOUT THIS LESSON!!!

What I really wanted to say is that doctors said that young people started to drink to forget the real world, the problems. Some parents will say "hmmm, what problems? Real world of what? High School? I'll die to go back to high school!". So, I don't think there are parents here but anyway : yes, we do have problems. They are not about how we will get to pay the rent at the end of the month... It's maybe about stupid things, but for us, it's a lot!
And yes, prisely, if you parents, go back to high school you will die. Because it's not heaven. Or maybe you wanna do our homeworks and try to think about "Can a human be called a machine?" "Is it essential to forget the past if you want to build a future?" WHO THE FUCK REALLY KNOWS?

Anyway! :) Now comes the ROMANCE part! ♡♡♡

I'm still thinking about my guy... Yes MY. And what? I tried to forget him with the guys (BTR, who else?!!), but it was vain.
I also have daydreams while I'm awake in my bed. I "daydream" that I meet him in Paris, while walking in a parc. And then we spent some days together, get married and have children. Kidding, it stops right after "spent some days together" !!
I also told on twitter that I'm writing my holidays just as if it was a novel. But I don't wanna publish it or anything... You crazy! If my parents read just even the first page, I can dig my grave! (kidding! ... just a little!)
So well, for the moment I wrote 10 pages, 3856 words and I just began the THIRD day! So I'm not done with that!
I'm upset because I don't remember the exact days of some events! lol IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!
But anyway, I can't wait to start to write about this day I met my handsome boy! :) I'm crazy, but the hour plays a lot... (What only 00AM? ... Well, I had a pretty long day! hihi).
I slowly forget about it all. Don't worry for my mental health, I am quite ... unwell, but it's usely! I was born this way (yeah, ooh there ain't no other way, baby I was born this wayyyyyy!)...
I wanted to say something more... but I don't remember... Maybe because it's wasn't someting important ("so why did you write this full entry? It's full of bullshits!").

YES! I was watching Adam Levine's appearance on "Jay Leno Last Night". He was talking about his fears... and GUESS WHAT!!!! We have exactly the same! He said that he was afraid of airplane, sharks and bees!!
I don't like airplanes, but I love traveling! And I would like to go far far away!!! So I'm scared but I'm trying to fight it!
Sharks just terrorize me! I can have a panic attac just seeing one at tv!
And bees because one day a complete apiary attacted me!! It was bad!
So Adam and I are really close, lmao! :D

Anyways. I should better stop because my "bucket" is full of bullshits!

Sorry! And sorry for the way I wrote this post. Kinda unusual. lol
Hope you liked it though!

LOVE,
—Jess.