Fortune Teller, is a song from Maroon 5's new album. I'm in love with this band. Since I'm a kid "This Love" is one of my favorite songs (when I was a kid, I didn't understand the lyrics!). Maroon 5 is one of my favorite band of the moment. They are incredible, and Adam Levine couldn't be more sexy! He is better with his 33 years-old than with his 23! I'm just in love. The song is great. The title is perfect for my post.Today is July, 1st. 7 days left and I will be 19. I'm not into ages. 19, it's just 18+1! And 18 was nothing more than the year I was graduated, I got my dricing licence, and I entered College. Such a big year but nothing really stricking. Just the useful. What will my 19 made of? That's the only thing that scares me! I feel like my future is really hazy. I haven't any real goal. I mean I don't know what I wanna work in. Oh wait, I do : Drama. I want to be an actress. But I mean, I don't know what I can peak as a rescue wheel. And I feel like this rescue wheel could be my life, actually. Because, if acting is my passion, what are my chances to make it become my life? I realised that it wasn't my destiny. I have to run away from my destiny to live it. Because our destiny is the same. There are just some brave ones who ran away from it and got to live their dreams and make it become their life. But living your dreams was never your destiny.
So I would like to plan my run, but it's hard.
More, arriving to my 19th b-day, I'm making a little balance. The balance is kinda like a comparison. Lately I've been talking with my cousin's girlfriend. She is the same age as me, and he is 1 year older than us. They are together for 2 years now, and latekly, they have some problems.
I compared myself with her : She's already into a real relationship, and I've never been into something serious. And I think I'm weird because lots of girl of 19 are into serious relationships. I think I may have a problem. But in another way, with the problems she has with him, she's like destroyed, she's always sad, blahblahblah. I don't wanna be sad because of a man! Gosh, I think I have like...YEARS to live sad relationship situations! So I feel like I'm truly living my "teenage", I'm FREE! No men, no problems! Better! ...I guess..? I don't know! And that's the why of the balance. It's kinda hard to make it. And probably it doesn't matter. Everyone has a life style. And mine isn't bad... I mean, I guess I'm happy like that. Not always. But at least often.
Whatever, even if my future is unclear, I'll try to turn off my front fog lamp and just go. Live the moment. Because I'm tired of regrets. My future is unclear but my present is right here. So I'm just gonna grab it, make it like I want and for the rest, I'll just see. The future depends on what I'm doing now. So i won't spent my time being sad about my lake knowledge about future because I draw it!
I try to feel like all is beginning now. I'm maybe not an Hollywood star, but I'm the actress of my own life.
"Think Positive, Be Amazing"— Wiz Khalifa
∟♥⋎ℇ,
−♩essica.
