"Not Like The Movies", -Jessica.

As always, my titles are songs' titles. Not like the movies, is a song from one of my favorite artists: Katy Perry. 

I use to come here to have something to speak about. Today is different, I come here to find something to talk about. I just wanted to write. I feel good writing here. Dunno if anyone is reading, but a solo therapy isn't bad at all. Even if talking to myself could appear creepy, I think there ain't no better confident than yourself, you are the only one to understand you at 100%! But, you can't be your friend..! Anyways!

I just finished a book about girls spending the whole summer together, having fun, partying, loving, hating, having troubles... but always with an happy ending. I miss it. The holidays, obviously, but more the happy ending stuff! I mean, when you turn like 17, happy endings aren't obvious. They are more like an option. If you want a happy ending, you better work out to get it, while being young, happy endings just came out naturally. Good old times, huh!
This saturday, I went to my uncles'. My cousins, a boy and a gril, are, respectively, 12 and 8 years old. And entering their room full of toys and full of that amazing smell of innocence and carefreeness, I was like "Uh, if only I could turn back to my 6 years-old!". My 12 year-old cousin didn't got it. When you're 12 you're like "Dude! I can't wait to be 18! I will be free, and do whatever I want"; turning 18, you finally get that being 12 you were more free than what you can be now. Responsability messes all!
Anyway! I think that nothing happen by casuality. It always happen for something. Most of the time, this something escape you. But I guess that this has a reason too!

Like this old friendship I'm still stuck on. I still don't know why it doesn't work. Or well, I know why. But I don't understand why some persons don't understand that friendship could be way more stronger than a relationship which will maybe last for some weeks. The love you give to a friend is maybe not much in the everyday, but if you watch it in an entiere life it's much more than the love you'll give to a lover in months. And a lover can't be true if you don't consider him as a friend too. (That's my opinion.)

"In Real Life", by Jess.

In Real Life, by Demi Lovato. Because I like the title. The song is catchy. And the lyrics are real.

Recently, I really felt what the words "mature", "adult", "responsabilities" and "19" stand for : Real life. I'm gonna be 19 in a few days. Not that I do really want to grow up. If I could, I would be just like Peter Pan, without Captain Hook, I hate vilains... They want me to grow up. By they I mean my parents. For them, 19 is the age you have to be a real adult. Not taking your own decisions about the going out-stuff, just about the work, the maturity and the responsabilities. This is not the best part, of course. I'm mad at them because they just want me to be adult in the way they want me to. But I also know that this is the real way of becoming adult. For me 19 means just 18+1, more parties, more friends, more going out, long nights, drive my car thinking in how life could be great "if"... Change the world because that's what "young adult" are made to..!
But that's for golden people. For people like me, like us, "young adult" just mean "If you wanna drink a lot of champagne, go work for it", "you wanna drive your car as far as you want, work for the fuel oil". And that's normal, of course. But I'm a Dreamer, so I wasn't expected to be put in front of Life like this. I'm the kind of person who totally know how bitchy Life is, I'm aware of that since I'm 13! But I'm also the kind of person that decided to be stronger than it. Life is a bitch, who cares? She won't stop me. This is dangerous? And what? If you don't try, you won't have anything. But like my mom says, I'm this person who decides to brave things just for fun, when I know it's gonna be cool, and not for something really important.

Recently, I'm lost. I don't know where I'm going to, what I'll be. My dreams are stainned.


-Jessica.

"Worldwide" —by Jessica.

Worldwide, by Big Time Rush. One of the sweetest song ever. The title was just perfect for my post, and some words of the lyrics too.

I've been thinking lately about the way people live. Where they live and where they want to live. And when you ask the question, the answer never quote two times the same city name.
I live in Paris, but I would like to live in LA, Buenos Aires, São Paulo or Madrid.
And people living in LA, Bs As, SP or MDRD would tell you one of the other cities less their.
We're never satisfied.
And lately, thinking about that, I've cought myself wishing my parents had return to Portugal when I was younger (yes, my parents are from Portugal, both.). When I see the way my cousins live, I'm like "Dude, that's so different and cooler than here!". Parents there act like Americans, I guess, just as if danger was inexistant. And it's quit true. In the city where my cousins leave, even if there are always more junkies, I've never heard something about a problem with a girl, I've never had troubles (in Paris, even not junk people come and look at you just like if they could see the future writen on your butt!). I know my life would have been like thousand times more exiting there than here. I would party every evening, every friday and saturday night. I would live my life!
(Musical interlude : Justin Bieber's "I'm gonna live...my life. No matter what we party tonight. I'm gonna live my life. I know we gon' be alright" came out naturally! lol)
So I was just thinking about it. The only bad point I found was that in Portugal, Nano and my other friends aren't present. And there would be missing something without Nano, without them!

My grand ma' recently told me that a room was waiting for me in her house. That I will find a job easily with my perfect French, my almost-fine Engligh and my good Spanish. And also that she was okay to pay me a car if I accepted to drive her to the town. She's really sweet.
I was thinking about that and one extra year in Portugal before going away to our trip to LA with Nano couldn't be that bad. But Portugal is really bad (even a lot of Portugueses are still living happily), just like Spain... So well, it's just another thought, another mini-dream.

I know how lucky I am to live 30 mn far from the Eiffel Tower, from the city of love, city of lights, city of everything! But when you know that the city you live in can't bring you what you expect from life, and just make you wanting to live as glamourously as people see parisians life, you better leave.

Live and leave. That's maybe what we're all supposed to do. Not at the very end, but before the very end of our life.

LOVE,

—Jessica.

Happy First Anniversary, Frenchies In LA!

Happy 1st Anniversary, Frenchies In LA!

Two days ago, June 1st, it was our one year anniversary of creating account on twitter.

But it wasn't just the creation of a simple account on a social network. The day we decided to create twitter was the day of the creation of "Frenchies In LA" because we were looking for a username which could be just our new "crew" name. And so "Frenchies In LA" born, just as an evidence.

So this June, 1st, was the day for 1 year of the beginning of projects, crazy thoughts, long discussions, search for flats in LA's side (Special remember for the one in San Dimas!)... Well one year of hope, crazyness and must of all special friendship. Since one year, Nano and I are closer than before. And two days ago we were thinking about it : In one year, a lot happened, for sure, but nothing which can be really decisive for us. But anyway, we also swear to never give up.

And so, this one year anniversary was the same day of Marilyn Monroe's birthday. So I choose this picture of her with a cake. If you're a little bit observative, this photo is the same for this year's Festival de Cannes! And this Festival is really connected to what Nano and I want... So maybe all of this is a sign... Don't you think?

Let's let Destiny play her role.


Much LOVE.

—Nano & Jess, the Frenchies In LA!

 

"60 dias apaixonado" —Jéssica.

"60 Dias Apaixonado" is a song by Michel Teló, it means "60 days in love". I choose this title because I'm gonna talk about the concert, and because I'm just in love with Michel ahah. Magic of after shows, it always happen! ;)

Before talking about the concert, I just wanted to talk quickly about last Saturday night. It was my cousin's 20th birthday so we made a big party. I was with all my cousins (from my mom's side, and I'm not really close to them!)! I only spoke to one. But that party wasn't that cool, because I was like super tired, I couldn't even dance or something! But this Saturday night had something: I learnt few hours before going to the party that my cousin had tickets for Michel Telo's show in Le Zénith de Paris!
So well, the party was nice, no more lol!

Michel Teló's show

Monday, May 21st

@LeZenithDeParis. 

Saturday, May 19th, I receive the following message : "Hello sweetie, how are you doin'? I was wondering : Would you like to come with me to Michel Telo's show this monday? P. got tickets and she offered me 2. Let me know if you can! Kisses! -S" (we don't speak like in GossipGirl, but letters are to let you guys understand!;))
I called her trembeling saying "It is a joke? You're kidding me, right?", well, she wasn't and I obviously said yes (that yes made my sister going crazy because she also wanted to come, but 14 is too young for a concert, sorry! xD)

Well, I was waiting to this Monday like a little girl wait for Christmas. Then Monday came. The Saint Monday, the Monday of my life (for now! I'm still waiting for Big Time Rush to have THE TIME OF MY LIFE! ;).
So my cousin P. (she is a girl) came to take me to her home to get prepared to go.
Then we peek up A. (my cousin's best friend, he is a boy) and then S. (my other cousin, a girl, too!)

I wrote the whole post and my web box bugged.
Everything disappeared.
I'm too furious to rewrite it all today.
I'll do it another day, letting you know by twitter, in case you're interested to read the post about the show.

See you,

—Jéssica.

"Somebody" by Jessica.

Somebody is a song from Disney Channel's Lemonade Mouth. I felt in love with this movie! I wish so bad it could happen to me! Just making something with your friends and then being recognize, listened... Turning like somebody important, delevering an hopefull message to tons of peeps. That's amazing. That's what I wanna be: someone spreading hope, love and happiness around me!

So as I tweeted like a thousand times, yesterday and tonight I was at the theater to see and support one of my best friends! She was acting in her school play. As Nano and I used to do during 3 years. I went there to remember good memories, to feel it. It wasn't really the same. I could see the others biting their nails because of anxiety and stress... And I was like "Chillax, dude! It ain't a dig deal!". It was so easy for me to say that. But one year before, I was just like them : freaked out. But you freak out backstage, before your scene. But when I was on stage, it was like being in a bath : you're just feeling so right. You pray to make it last forever. It's so good. And when you start to be aware that you're saying your last lines, you're sad. And when you go back backstage, you're already melancholic and just can't wait to play a second and a third time. That' a feeling so good.

I felt even more melancholic these times : I was playing. And I know that I will probably never play again. Not like this.
When the students of my ex high school were all on stage for the final and were being aplaused by the audience I felt so sad and happy. I thought about the times I was on it. You're on the stage, the spotlights are on you, the crowd is shouting, not only for you, but you don't care. At that moment, there's just you, your "co-star", maybe. They are all here claping, whistling… You feel like you made them having a good time this night. You feel useful, happy. Happy to mean something.
And the thing that makes you feel like you could live in Bel Air, be on the billboards of the city for your next movie : people at the supermarket telling you "Last night, you girls were good!" with a smile.

Maybe you think I'm narcisic or maybe crazy. But I'm not. Or just crazy maybe. But if you knew that feeling once, it's like a drug. You're addicted to this. To being on stage. To play.
And feeling like the others appreciate what you're doing is even better. You feel like you can make someone smile. That's how I would like to feel. That's why I wanna be an actress, to give the same that some actors give me. Some actors make me feel happy, make me hope... You can give a lot t others playing. That's what I want : give to others doing something I love.

Hope you guys can feel this someday.

"And I say OH! We're gonna let it show, we're gonna just let go of everything, holding back our dreams. And try, to make it come alive. Come on let it shine so they can see, we were meant to be... Somebody, somebody, yeah. Somehow, someday, someway. Somebody"

LOVE.

—Jess.

"We Own The Night" —Jessica.

We Own The Night in a song by Selena Gomez! Got her album When The Sun Goes Down a few weeks ago, at the same time as Demi's. Really good! I'm in love with some of her songs! The title I choose illustrated the post I'm going to write! I was hesitating with Lemonade Mouth's songs too, they are great and I'm in love with the album!

So here it goes! Last Saturday night it was the party for my uncle's 40th birthday! They did a 'little' party with friends and family. Usely, I don't dance at parties with my family, I'm more self restricted than when I'm with my friends (I can let my evil side go out! lol). But this time, I decided to show up who I really was : a girl who just like to have fun! The thing was easy!
Lot of things where in my mind during this party: my cousin bringing his girlfriend (I love her, she's now a good friend!), and my cousin's cousin (from her mother's family) bringing her boyfriend. To let you understand, I was the only "young adult" without date. You see that?! lol Everybody thinks I actually have a boyfriend but that I don't wanna show it. But the truth is that I do am single (and... "ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, PUT YOUR HANDS UP!"). And I felt like I was really skiping something lol. You may think I'm crazy or something. But what?! It's true! And my dad was talking to my cousin's cousin, let's name her Carlota (yeah, that's like revenge, and what?!). SO my dad was talking to Carlota about sex and everything like this, kidding and goofing with her. Dude, (I mean, Dad!), she's younger than me! And that's not a topic you would like me to talk about with someone's dad, so back off! My father is always cool with other's kids... Thanks, Daddy.
And well, so I was thinking that my life wasn't normal at all... But I handled that!

At the party, another thing struck me : two kids.
My uncle and aunt are friends with a couple for a long time now. This couple is just so nice! I really like them! I was very young when I went to their marriage. Last Saturday I saw then again, I didn't see them for years! And well, we talked together. This couple has 2 boys. They are the cuttest boys I've ever meet. I felt in love with those kids! They are 11 and 8 years old. At the beginning they were playing with the other kids and then, without any reason they started playing with me. They wanted me to be with them, etc. And when my cousin and his girlfriend went away, I stayed with the children, goofing with them and talking. And the 2 boys where just too cute!! I told their father I will adopt them and the little one was like "yes, yes, yes!"! He was so cute!
And what I wanted to say telling that, is that I realised that I really wanted to work with kids. At least during one year! I have this idea since a while, but those two little boys made that stronger! I would like to work with kids, like being a nanny, full-time nanny during some months.
You know, like in Jessie, the Disney Channel Serie!

Whatever, I have tons of dreams! I just wanted to write it down. Maybe to read it in some years and remember how dreamer I was. :)

I'll be back this week with a new post! Maybe about Nano and I, together at the rehearsals of our old theater crew... I wish we were still in high school to be able to able to play again on this stage! What good times we had there! :) I'll never forget!

See you soon!

—Jessica, the Dreamer.