Somebody is a song from Disney Channel's Lemonade Mouth. I felt in love with this movie! I wish so bad it could happen to me! Just making something with your friends and then being recognize, listened... Turning like somebody important, delevering an hopefull message to tons of peeps. That's amazing. That's what I wanna be: someone spreading hope, love and happiness around me!
So as I tweeted like a thousand times, yesterday and tonight I was at the theater to see and support one of my best friends! She was acting in her school play. As Nano and I used to do during 3 years. I went there to remember good memories, to feel it. It wasn't really the same. I could see the others biting their nails because of anxiety and stress... And I was like "Chillax, dude! It ain't a dig deal!". It was so easy for me to say that. But one year before, I was just like them : freaked out. But you freak out backstage, before your scene. But when I was on stage, it was like being in a bath : you're just feeling so right. You pray to make it last forever. It's so good. And when you start to be aware that you're saying your last lines, you're sad. And when you go back backstage, you're already melancholic and just can't wait to play a second and a third time. That' a feeling so good.
I felt even more melancholic these times : I was playing. And I know that I will probably never play again. Not like this.
When the students of my ex high school were all on stage for the final and were being aplaused by the audience I felt so sad and happy. I thought about the times I was on it. You're on the stage, the spotlights are on you, the crowd is shouting, not only for you, but you don't care. At that moment, there's just you, your "co-star", maybe. They are all here claping, whistling… You feel like you made them having a good time this night. You feel useful, happy. Happy to mean something.
And the thing that makes you feel like you could live in Bel Air, be on the billboards of the city for your next movie : people at the supermarket telling you "Last night, you girls were good!" with a smile.
Maybe you think I'm narcisic or maybe crazy. But I'm not. Or just crazy maybe. But if you knew that feeling once, it's like a drug. You're addicted to this. To being on stage. To play.
And feeling like the others appreciate what you're doing is even better. You feel like you can make someone smile. That's how I would like to feel. That's why I wanna be an actress, to give the same that some actors give me. Some actors make me feel happy, make me hope... You can give a lot t others playing. That's what I want : give to others doing something I love.
Hope you guys can feel this someday.
"And I say OH! We're gonna let it show, we're gonna just let go of everything, holding back our dreams. And try, to make it come alive. Come on let it shine so they can see, we were meant to be... Somebody, somebody, yeah. Somehow, someday, someway. Somebody"
LOVE.
—Jess.
