Something About The Sunshine! -by Jess

If you are a Disney Channel addict as Nano and I you probably get that my title "Something About The Sunshine" is from "Starstruck"! I love that song!

So, I just wanted to write something here... First I wanna say that I'm so glad our friend @CaitlinMaslow is okay. She has been through a difficult time in her life... But now she's safe and Nano and I couldn't be more relieved! So Caitlin, if you're reading it : Get well very soon, and we love you!

Then, I just wanted to say how pleasant is the weather in Paris these days! It's been a real pleasure to be out and to have some nice moment with my friends from College. Even if going to College is like an awful torture! But I know that some people would like to have this chance to enter in a College as great as mine, so well, I'm not gonna talk too much about it.

So yes, the Sun is here, we're still in winter and we have quit 20°C! That's unbelievable! Really! It's super nice to have this sun, to hang around with just a little jacket and sunglasses! But it makes me think that the planet is going bad. Two weeks ago we were in negative temperatures and now, all of a sudden, we got 20 degrees! That's creepy! I don't want the World to end up on December, 21st of 2012! It's really too soon and we've still tons of things to live before it.

I also want to tell you that I dreamt about the 1D! It was just with Liam (I think he is REALLY hot!), Harry (who's hot too!) and Niall (less). Liam was like eating and eating chocolate bars and Niall was eating too. But when Niall was taking one chocolate from Liam, Liam had automatically another bar to replace the one Niall stole. Whatever, I was with them and in my dream it was super fun!
But with this stupid dream, I just wanted to say that I don't understand why people think that war between two "teams" is bound! I mean I am a (very proud) Rusher! But I have to confess that I listen some songs of 1D! Loving BTR don't stop me from listening 1D songs! I'm opened!
And what I want to say is that I HATE when directionners talk badly about our guys. Big Time Rush is an awesome band of four very talented boys. They have big hearts and deserve all the best. If you don't like them, no matters, but don't insult them because I think that rushers are very nice with the 1D. So show up some respect if you wanna be respected too. Thanks.

I guess that's all I wanted to say. I just wanted to write a little bit before going to bed!

Much love to everyone!

xxx

—Jessica.

"Lucky Ones" - by Jessica.

Lucky Ones is the title of the last song in Lana Del Rey's debut album Born to Die. I don't really LOVE the song, but the title illustrate very well what I'm talking about in my post... (But I do love Lana Del Rey's Born to Die, Video Game or Off to the Races...)

 Here it goes: these days have been pretty complicated to handle for my little head. My father wants me to finish the year in the College and to be "graduated" at the end of the year. Well, he wants me to be good at school. But he also wants me to find a job and start to earn money by my own. Thing I'm totally up to! But, how can he understand that handling school and a job isn't really a good point to me?! Because I'm like fed up with school, I prefered to hang myself than going to school! And if I have to stay at schoola dn to work... well, Daddio, you should better send me a mail saying that you want my death, it would be a little bit more clear!
Actually, the job is to pay my summerbreak vacations in Spain, with two friends... And this trip actually should make me feel alright and makes me wanna find a job. But it does the opposite. Why? Because, my best friend, who's coming, doesn't have to make any effort, her dear parents are paying the trip for her. The other girl who comes... well, her parents do the same (and I have to had that her parents also make her bed, wash her dish. She doesn't even know how to cook pasta!). And THIS makes me sick. Why me? Why do I have to work, to supply my parents to let me go? Why is it so easy for my two friends? WHY? They have everything they want. Their parents just say Amen to everything they say.
I'm not the saddest girl on earth, I do know it and I'm thanksful toward God to let me have this life. But all around me people are having so much better! When I want to go somewhere, I have to fight to go. My friends justhave to say "Hey, mom! I'm going there, 'kay?" and they leave. They don't wait for an reply, they just close the door and go their way! It's unfair. Sorry, but it is. Maybe I'm superficial. But I think that it's a feeling that everyone of us feel at leats once. If you say you never felt that way is because you're like my two friends or because you're a liar.
Whatever! Money for my best friend (not Nano... let's call her Rachel, okay!). So, for Rachel, money seems to be on fire and she can't take it for too long... Well, I'm a little bit too much! But well, when I'm shopping with her, I feel miserable, really! We were seeing those amazing shoes in the biggest French Galleries. And she was like "Yeah, I've shoes from this brand, and this too... they aren't too expensive!". No, not at all, it's true..! 120bucks, for me it's A LOT! My mother has to work 11 hours to get those shoes! I guess the most expensive shoes I have cost 50bucks! And I felt terrible toward my mom when I bought them!
Life seems to be so easy and sweet for her.
Whatever, I can't even complain because my living situation is way far to be that bad! I'm good, healthy, I have a family, enough money to be safe and secure, I have a roof and this should be enough. But why some people have really too much?

Someone told me "the wheel of fortune goes round and round".

I just wanted to say that I'm tired that I have to fight with my parents everyday to go to Spain this summer, that I have to supply them to go and that if I want to just have a chance to go I have to work and that my two friends just have to say "hey, I wanna go to Spain this summer" and that, instead of a yes, their parents are giving them the money to go.
More when Rachel's parents say "Honey, we don't want you to spent your summer vacations here, in Paris. Go! Travel! Discover! We'll pay you the trip!". Why my parents aren't like this? Traveling is a passion for me and they want me to be safe near them! Seriously, life should distribute a little bit better the chance she gives to people.

Sorry for being like this.

-J.

New post! -N

Acting is about telling a story. Not a story about love, about a job, about sex. Acting is telling a story. A story that has a meaning for you. I watched The Help tonight. This is telling a story. Malcolm X is a story, American History X is a story. Art had as goal to express our feelings, to express what do we feel about this society. But nobody get that anymore, because real Art has been eaten by capitalism, and now every song, every movie, every paint, is about fun, sex and Carpe Diem. Did you remember when John Lennon sang about peace, when Nelson Mandela fought in South Africa, when our Prophet Muhammad (May peace be with him) fought to free his community, mine now? Does anyone know what is Art now? Do I know it myself? I have no idea. I'm superficial sometimes, I love food, fashion, jewels, beauty. But sometimes too, I got this feeling screaming down in my soul, who's crying, and saying, who did you think you were?
Denzel Washington is my favorite actor since a long time. Do you know why? Everytime, in every movie I watched, I looked at his face and I just felt releaved. Why? He understood something that only a few people got, I think. I look at him, and I just know, that Hollywwod has still a heart you know. Denzel Washington makes me want to be an actress, he makes me want to tell a story.
I want to be an actress to tell a story. Mine. It might has no sense right now, but it does. If God permits me to do it, I will.
I'm a nice girl. I really am. I love a lot of people and I trust them even if I shouldn't. I hope for people, but I don't do anything for them. I think this is more selfish that if you don't think anything. People think I'm unable because I'm naïve and that Im hoping to make a change.
I'm weird, I also know that. Not weird like the others but I think you can all find a part of yourself in me.
I'm special, but I think you could like me. Why? Because deep inside I'm  a good girl, sometimes funny, sometimes fatalist, but a good girl. I'm just special, I just think differenty. I just buy dreams where people think there's no dreams anymore. I will always love someone. I just won't love a guy, not now, this is too creepy. :) Good night world, please stay safe tonight, I need it.

"Amanhã sei lá" - by Jessica.

Amanhã sei lá = For tomorrow, I don't know. - It's a brasilian song I really love. It's based on the Carpe Diem. Live you live today, and tomorrow you'll live it differently. Every day is a gift : "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called a 'present'" (From KungFu Panda).

Sorry for this little introduction! (haha) I'm in my mood "I wanna live the life big time, I don't care about tomorrow I'll see when it will turn 'today'"! Just a phase...Don't worry!
Actually, this mood came out because I start being really worried about my future. I don't really know what it will be like. It's not that my dream crushed, but it really seems like our Hollywoodian dream is taken away by this cold wind named "maturity" (wind brought by this authority called "parents" that forbid dreams and try to make our life being "safe and comfortable"... Dreams aren't safe and just SEEM comfortable). Whatever! I still dream one day I'll be on a big screen, my name associated with a big Hollywoodian production and with a cool serie watched by every teenager in the World. But before this dream coming true, I have to think about what I'm used to call "spare wheel": a scholar way! Which is something pretty hard to choose! I already tried with a year of Spanish studies in the university, and it's not what I hoped... Now I'll try with something more global... But I'm still insecure about my way. I'll be 19. My parents say it's time to "grow" and to take a way for MY future. How can I imagine the future if I am not even able to know how tomorrow will be? It's really hard to be a pre-adult! Even more than being just adult. Because adults have their life already made, they don't have to think about the future, it just come naturally. Pre-adults have to think about it even if they live "Carpe Diemly"... We live this way because we are affraid. Affraid of being nothing. Scared about crushing our parents' hopes. We want them to be proud so we try to make up for them. But we don't care about ourselves. We just wanna live. That's what I'm feeling. I wanna leave, travel, discover, make new friends, meet new people, try different things, be curious, be crazy, be carefree, fearless, be young forever. I want to Live. With a capital "L"!

Anyways, I told you what I think about the present, and the future! I won't talk about the past, cuz it's already done, right?

Actually, I wanted to tell you about this dream I had about Big Time Rush and it's "Wolf pack" (ahah)! But, I've almost forgot!
I just remember I was with the four guys, Kendall, Logan, Carlos and James, and with the two last named's dogs : Sydney and Fox, joining them in their Better With U Tour. We're all in a parc and I don't remember what happened, but I think someone wanted to hurt Fox (for sure it was one of those bad directioner who wanted to threw Fox, push Logy and make Kendy leave BTR! ahah! TRY, directioner and you'll pay with your life!! ahah... well!). So someone wanted to hurt Fox and the little puppy was missing. Sydney became crazy because she was almost lost without her little man (yeah, Fox is the man, as little as he is!). Carlos and I tried to make her keep it cool! We were like "Sydney! Sydney! Calm down!", trying to catch her while she was running all around the parc! Then we got to keep her calm and Kendall, Logan and James were still looking for Fox in the shrubs of the parc... Then James, desperatly, screamed "FOX!" and the little boy came out from a shrub in a hill. Then Fox ran toward us and my dream had a fabulous Happy Ending!

— The End —

Hope you liked it.
Thanks for reading!

Peace and much Love! 

☮&♥

—Jessica

P.S.: Don't forget to watch Nano and I's photos in the mini gallery we have : WATCH US!