Hello, I love you. -J.

Hello, I Love You is a song by The Doors, the great band with this amazing man Jim Morrison who reminds me of my summer love. Anyways, not talking about it.
I choose this song because The Doors is a classic rock band, the song is good (even if it would be better with this strange noise all along), the title is cute and I didn't have anything else for the big mess my post will be about. So well enjoy the song :

   The Doors - Hello I Love You by nanakoust

I have nothing to really talk about. I'm just enjoying my holidays like I never did before and maybe like I shouldn't! I should be working all time and I prefer being out with some friends, by day, by night, whenever and wherever for the great desesperation of my dad that feels his control on me going down (heheh, that's it, I'm almost free. Almost is the biggest part of the sentence, uh!).
So anyways… what happened lately..?

Last wednesday it was Halloween! This is one of my favorite time in the year! Especially because it's falls, the colours in the trees are amazingly beautiful, the sky is half grey, half blue, the night comes fast (which sometimes annoys me a lot!)... Everything is fine for a terrific night! (PLAY THIS!)
So with my friends and some friends' friends we spent this horror night together eating and drinking. And I'll stop there, lmao! Because there is nothing more to tell. I spent a lot of time out, in the street alone taking breath, being cold and I get cold, my voice is screwed up. But it was super fun anyways!

This Friday I got to see someone really rare in this town : Nano! Everytime we want to meet something comes between us and make us hard to stay. But this time we got it, even if the weather was trying to flood our plans... It rainned a lot, but we saw each others! ♥
Saturday I met some guys I've met during my summer holidays. Meeting them made me think a lot about this summer time and about how cold Paris was for October, well November, anyways! I shouldn't be that cold how are we gonna spend the winter ... I prefer not to think about it!
So well I remembered a lot my summer vacations. I think about it very often. It was one week, but it's like it had been the week of my life. My birth, the second one; the third one will be the day of my wedding, I mean the day I'll have something that will mean I'll stay with a man for life (if 'for life' exists still! Wedding appears like a waist of time and money now... What lasts forever? Things are becoming crazy. Who knows what true love is now? Not a lot of people!) Uuuuuy I went far away! Jesus! So yeah, I miss holidays! lol

Today I went to see some old/new friends (old because I'm not with them all the time anymore and new because I met them last year at college!). I love them so much! They are so sweet!
In fact, I'm really proud they are my friends. Because they are really sweet, they are fun, they are cool and they are mine. Lemme explain : Since I'm in middle school I have been like the shadow of my best friend (the first one), I always thought people liked me because she was my bff. I felt like I wasn't Jess but the BFF of (let's call her) Amelia. In high school it was quit the same passed sophomore year... Arriving at College I had no one with me, my bffs were far. I was just me, myself and I. And I made awesome friends, cool friends. I feel like I can be myself and be loved. That's amazing. Lmao you guys must think I am totally cray. I maybe am. But it feels good !
I realized that life is really short, maybe shorter than we used to think she was. What if the Maya Thing was true? What if all as to stop this December 21st? Wa can't spent our lifetime trying to be what people want us to be. Don't try. You are not an experience. You are not a project. You are art. God's art. And because God doesn't make mistakes you're great the way you are. It's easy for me to say it, trust it and apply it is harder, I know, but we gotta see things like this.
Like I said in a previous tweet : "You gotta believe in you. It's hard. Because if you don't, no one will. Just try to show the world who you really are. Be wild."

I have to admit that something helped me to feel good : the guy I've been in love with for more than one year and that I totally forgot about is coming back. He is trying to catch me, to see me, and I'm not saying yes. He told me that he prefered when I was in love, because I was easier to catch. Boy, take it. You felt strong, but who's leading now? Learn. I'm not something you can handle, try, and play with. I'm not a doll. I'm proud of that. I'm leading. I have things under control.
Everything turns back. If someone hurt you, you'll have the chance to feel stronger that this person soon or later! ;)

Hope you enjoyed!
LOVE
xxx
-J.