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It's hard to explain who I am, what do I feel, and what do I want because I don't even know that. Im searching again and again but there's like a shadow wrapping my heart and that doesn't go away. Every morning when I wake up I feel sad, really sad. Why? Because I pretend, again because this is the only thing I do well.

The thing is that I don't know what to do, like absolutely not. You know, I believe so much in my dreams, in my projects, that I keep on saying, this day is coming, soon, I can feel it. But it doesn't come, and frankly, deep inside my mind, I don't really know if it'll come. And sad again because the only thing I know to do is acting. I passed high school, but I don't know if Ill pass College. Im scared, I really am, and Im so tired that I wanna give up. But the problem is what? What do I want to give up? I have nothing, only God who understands my feelings. Yes, I often cry, no, I don't hide it, and people can think it's weak, I don't care.I am angry, scared sad and lost. Is that normal? Everyday, I take the train, everyday, I think about their lifes. Is this really what they want to do? People that I see everyday are they happy to do what they do? I don't know, maybe yes, because I don't think there is one person thinking like I do. This text has no objective, I don't even think someone will read it. Whatever.
-N